5 money saving tips for one of the best days of your life!! Wedding saving hacks to utilize your money.Read More
Hi my lovely readers. We have one more change to my little corner of the blogosphere. Last time we chatted, which was a bit ago, I told you about finding my purpose. (Read it Here: The Moment When I Found My Purpose.) I have decided that I am going to be your big sister.
Whhhhaaaaattt?? Hear me out. I already have 5 siblings, 4 of whom are my younger siblings. I receive presents on Mother's Day and occasionally get called "mom" on accident. According to those precious gems, I also dress like a Cool Mom. I will take it. As the first child to get married, buy a house, move out, etc my husband and I have been forging our own path with little to no guidance. As much as I loooove my husband and lean on him, sometimes you just need an older sister to use as a sounding board. So while I may not have that, I can fill those shoes for someone else.
I am a giver. I love giving presents, advice, help.
And I want to share that with you.
I am going to do a mini series on weddings. Because, well, one I want to and two I just got married! I am about a month and a few days into the married life and I have learned a thing or two along the way about weddings and marriage in general.
My lightbulb momemt and finding my blog purpose.Read More
Adding a touch of the outdoors to my wardrobe. A collaboration with JORDRead More
The "whys" of my resolutions. My take on the new year dealing with my PTSD.Read More
I have been on the hunt for things that will help me get and stay organized with everything going on. I discuss 3 things I considered while I searched for the perfect planner. I also discuss what planner I eneded up with and why.Read More
So many life changes happening in the next few months! Things are always crazy, and they're about to get even crazier!Read More
My very first local event with Elephant Bar in uptown! The 411 on what went down in the 505. Plus a chance for you to win!Read More
Forever isn't easy, it takes a conscious decision to choose your significant other every single day. I know who my forever is and I choose him every dayRead More
The best beach trip of my entire life! Started as a girlfriend and ended as a fiancee!Read More
There are days when I can fight all the demons, and other days when I am just too tired.Read More
I look at the fabulous Laguna Beach! Where to go and where not to go!Read More
My opinion on a Psychology Today article about things we shouldn't say to the ones we love. I don't follow the rules and tell my loved ones something in particular all the time. Let me hear what you think!Read More
My love/hate relationship with fitness and the gym!Read More
As you all know we had Valentine's Day two weekends ago. My boyfriend and I switch off planning Valentine's Day. This is our third one together and it was his turn. He always gets me a stuffed animal, and I can't wait until we have kids so they can play with them. I think it is a super cute story to tell them!
Boyfriend arrived with the most beautiful bouquet and animal the Friday before asking if I would be his. I love that he asks me even though he knows I am already his! He told me to pack my bags we were going on a trip! I was so excited and kind of flustered. I used to love surprises and I still do, but they always some with a certain amount of anxiety. Having my boyfriend, who I trust implicitly (obvs) is a huge help. I asked a million questions about what to pack and what to take and what is the weather like. He answered as best as he could, and then cleaned the entire house while I was trying to get my sh*t together. I def found a keeper!
We ended up having a staycation at a local resort. It was absolutely stunning and so relaxing. His goal was for us to have a stress free and schedule free weekend, other than the couple's massage he booked us we were totally on our own time. oh! He also booked us a fancy schmancy dinner our first night. We forgot we were not supposed to eat meat on Fridays so we had to order the lobster pasta. Le sigh. It was a real rough one!! haha The food was soooo good!
We went for a hike after the spa. I say hike, and boyfriend said "leisurely stroll'. Tomato, tomato. I spotted an entire herd of turkeys because I am a modern day huntress. Obvs. We slept at 5 and woke up in time for dinner at 9 pm. Even after all of that, I was spoiled with a gorgeous blue topaz necklace!
It was pretty amazing being in our own little time bubble. I turned off my phone and just relaxed. It was much needed and perfect from beginning to end. I'm not sure how I got so lucky, but I am keeping him!
I wrote this last year, a few days before the anniversary of my car accident. It has now been four years and the struggle remains. The days seem to be getting a tiny bit easier, but it never really goes away. I'm still hyper alert for any triggers, as are my boyfriend and family. Every day is a struggle.
I really and truly despise discussing my “mental illnesses”. They’re not fun to have, easy to treat, and I will be stuck with them for life. The most I can do is hope to learn how to manage them so that my bad days aren’t as dark, and my good days are a little brighter. I wasn’t born with depression or anxiety. I didn’t go to war or see violence or was abused to obtain my PTSD.
I was hit by a truck. He ran the red light in his work vehicle and I was lucky enough to have sustained back and neck injuries, and a completely shattered right wrist, but I was alive. At least that’s what everyone told me. What they didn’t see and what they didn’t understand was the ptsd, depression, and anxiety that I have as a result. The three year anniversary of this accident is on January 31. Every year January and part of February are incredibly hard for me to deal with. I was driving a truck, so it could have been much worse.
So three years later, I’m still recovering. I still see a counselor on and off. I still hate driving. Being alone terrifies me. I was alone when the accident occurred so now I have these periods of intense, and irrational, fears that I will be hit again. How do explain that when you’re in a building and suddenly you have a panic attack and a flash back and you think you’ll be hit again, every one finds that hard to understand.
I never saw any of this coming. The lack of control is the worst. There aren’t any quick fixes, pills haven’t worked, counseling is a band aid fix, and my thoughts of suicide and self harm haven’t gone farther than that. I scratch myself in my sleep and when I feel out of control, I chop off my hair, bite my nails until they bleed, or buy random things. I just need to be in control of something in my life. Some days, I can’t get out of bed. Others I cry and don’t want to talk to anyone.
I’ve come a long way, I know that. But really? It’s hard to care sometimes. I have this life long struggle because some ass in a company truck tried getting one more commission. In some ways it’s good. I realize now how strong I truly am, and even on my bad days I’m proud of my progress.
My family has been with my every step of the way too. They’ve cried with me, taken me to countless doctors, and plied me with teddy bears, songs, and candy to calm me down. I have an amazing boyfriend who kisses away my tears, screens movies for car accidents or noises that will scare me, and buys me starburst ( my pill of choice) to help me.
But what I have lost are friends who gave up on me. People who have called and texted me, tried to hang out or even just see me, that I never answered. I couldn’t. How could they love someone or even just want to be around someone so shattered? Why would they want to be around someone who randomly cries, who flakes on plans because I don’t want to get in a car, or won’t eat because I’m too depressed. I couldn’t accept my illnesses so why should they? What was terrible, was seeing people and kind of telling them that I wasn’t ok, and them not understanding. I have been told a million times to “get over it” and “it is just a car accident”. But it wasn’t, and it’s not. It’s so much more than that. I couldn’t accept myself, or everything that I lost. I lost my sense of security, my sense of a future, and a life. I lost some of the use of my wrist. I didn’t drive a car for around two years.
So for now, I take one day at a time. I have bad days. I have good days. I’m trying to pick up the pieces and my family and boyfriend hold the ones that I’ve put back together. I still have a long journey, but I’m ready for it.
That was long and yet so short.
Until next time,
Again, this is a crossover from my old blog. I now use Credit Karma because it is foooo free!! Yay, and that saves me $15 a month! I am currently all about saving that cash! I am currently sitting at a 715 which I am inordinately rpoud of since I didn't have any credit to begin with! I have a super high limit on my credit card too, which is cool. This was last July during Nordstrom's sale.
I am a self professed shopping addict. I live for a sale, and a bargain is definitely something that I have to work to say no to, but I don’t usually say no. And I also enjoy stocking up. Why buy something for full price when I usually have a bunch of different, much better priced options already in my closet? Exactly, I don’t. I already bought them on sale! Yay!
So if you follow any fashion blogger, chances are like 95% of them are talking about the Nordstrom sale. While I do enjoy expensive things, I don’t have a champagne budget. I do pretty well, I can’t lie, but I also can’t just buy $300 shoes on a whim. Oh well. I can just dream.
I’ve also been working on my credit. Which honestly I knew nothing about. And it is still kind of confusing. I have lovely parents who bought me whatever I want, for the most part, and taught me to be a savvy shopper. What they never taught me was the b-word, budget, and the s-word, save. I wasn't told what our finances look like when I lived with my parents. Like what do they even mean? Also wtf is a credit score??? I thought, truly, that I got like a good score and then it would go up or down depending on what I did with it. Apparently that isn’t the case and I learned that the hard way when we tried to buy a house and my non existent credit was a hindrance. So that sucks. And I’m naive, but whatever.
So I got a credit card and keep the balance low or to a zero balance and make a few charges to keep using it. I have been granted two credit limit increases in a short amount of time and I am pretty proud of myself. I paid off my car, but that didn’t move my score as much as I thought. So again, confusion. I signed up for Experion to track my credit score. It’s $15 a month and I can check in at any time via my app to check my score. It isn’t super in depth, but it tells me enough. It’s a slow climb, but what’s hurt it the most is he checking of my credit. We tried a few different lenders and apparently it has been run too much. Darn it.
So back to where I am now. Scrolling insta and just dying to check out the Nordy’s sale. But in order to do that, you need a credit card. Ugh. Again, wtf? Fack. I just want to shop. However, I don’t want my credit run, and I really have been spending a lot of money on sales. So for now, I am just going to say no. I am going to walk away, I am going to stay strong and not spend. Maybe spending money on stuff within my budget and saving for a trip to Europe would be a much better reward. Or then I will also need a new wardrobe for that trip so maybe not. Darn, a budget and saving and saying no is so hard. Ugh. My life. I also have discovered that I find any excuse to shop. I could be bored, or sad, or happy, or whatever and I can come up with any excuse to make it ok. But I also need to get over that. Spending on a whim isn’t ok, and it’s not mature.
So takeaway: watch your credit, don’t get a million cards, and don’t spend all your money on sales. It’s rough, I know. But this will help later on in life when we want to get another home. So for now, I’m going for a walk to distract myself from insta and sales.
Till next time!!
I wrote this post September of 2015. I am once again trying to determine where I want to be career wise. As I look, I thought that sharing this insight would be helpful. My shopping has been a lot less than it was, it is nice seeing money in my bank account instead ofRead More
my first blog post and my first insecurity!Read More